The identity shift of perimenopause
There’s an identity shift in perimenopause
But there’s not a lot written about how that impacts our health, wellbeing, and life outcomes.
The identity shift comes from the transition.
I often use the butterfly analogy for the midlife transition.
Our 20s and 30s are our caterpillar stage. Busying ourselves, eating leaves, exploring the ground around us, building careers, relationships, travel, perhaps starting a family.
Perimenopause is the caterpillar soup stage, where the essence of the caterpillar dissolves and re-forms to become a butterfly. It’s not comfortable or easy, but it’s necessary in order for the species to survive.
Our post menopause life is where we can really soar. We have gathered wisdom, experience, and life lessons aplenty. If we allow ourselves, we know who our people really are, what is important, and we can re-think, re-vise, and update our purpose and passions and version of ourselves.
I tried to explain it to my developer husband as a fundamental software update which can have a negative impact on the energy and cooling system of the hardware. But that led him to the analogy that perhaps it was time for an updated model. Not the right solution!
So I’ll stick with butterflies. And with the husband!
Orcas, elephants, and blue whales also go through menopause, and have an important role in the survival of their family. To look after others, to pass on wisdom, to protect and support.
In Chinese, menopause is referred to as our ‘second spring’, in Japanese as konenki, meaning renewal and energy. So much more positive that how it is explained in the western world, as simply the end of fertility.
Midlife and menopause for humans is a complex, multi-layered shift in identity. Physical, emotional, spiritual even.
Our role and our self-perception in the workplace, the family, the home, and our community shifts.
Especially in the late perimenopause phase (usually, but not always) in our late 40s and early 50s.
Because alongside the many and varied impacts of hormonal change life throws us some curveballs.
Our parents start needing more support, our kids, if we have them, are growing up and becoming more independent but still require emotional support and steering through difficult issues. And the younger people coming up behind us in our workplaces and social settings feel like they are ‘catching up’ and overtaking.
And of course, in so much of society, older women are seen as past their prime, although still a cash machine for skincare and supplement companies!
In my work with clients, we explore what the next stage of life is going to look and feel like. How they want to feel, what their vision, values and purpose might be.
And we explore some of the stories, habits, and lifestyle traits that might get in the way.
My approach to coaching is about the WHOLE woman. And mindset, vision creation, and emotional wellbeing are a big part of supporting the health and lifestyle changes you want to make.
Knowing where you’re going, so that you can explore a new version of the world as a beautiful post menopausal butterfly!
I started learning about perimenopause in my late 30s, so I’ve been anticipating my post menopause life for a while. I’m not there yet. And life has thrown some curveballs along the way - family, injury, Covid, ageing parents. All that fun.
And I still am excited about the opportunities of now, and of the future. My 70 year old self will be climbing mountains, writing books, and creating communities of support, with SO much laughter and energy around her too.
Self knowledge, and awareness of the midlife rollercoaster holds can help you both create a vision for the future AND achieve it too.
You can start with the self knowledge and action taking in this download of my free guide to perimenopause
Or book in a 15 minute chat to find out more about how I can support you in this stage of life!